99 Loses Control Alternate Ending
by Bugmouthga
Summary: When Agent 99 tells Agent 86 she's leaving CONTROL to get married, Max is heartbroken; however, he quickly rallies and follows his secret flame to the island of San Jirman. But once her arrives, he discovers things are not what they seem. Can he stop 99 from making the biggest mistake of her life before it's too late?


99 LOSES CONTROL- THE ALTERNATE ENDING

"Max, what on earth are you doing here?" The question reverberated through out 99's entire being, as she lay in her bed, futilely trying to sleep. She had only just arrived on San Jirman Island and had been shocked- yet extremely relieved- to see Maxwell Smart, her ex-partner, and secret love, walk back into her life, so abruptly, as he had.

The young woman sighed. She was in a terrible dilemma here. Max had come for her, just liked she'd hoped! But he hadn't admitted anything to her, the way she'd imagined he would. This really left her in the lurch. On the one hand, she had promised herself to another man (Victor Royal)- to marry him! She'd even told herself that she'd go through with the wedding, unless . . . unless a certain someone came to stop her, thus proving his own love for her. But, on the other hand, that certain someone she'd been hoping and praying for, hadn't exactly broken up the party, or declared his undying devotion to her. Max had shown up, alright. But he hadn't forbid her to marry Victor. He hadn't rushed in, and made any proclamations. He hadn't challenged her fiancée to a duel, or fight to the death (or even an arm wrestling contest!) over her hand. He had, in fact, started working for Victor Royal- as his bodyguard, for crying out loud!

Oh Max, 99 sighed wistfully to herself, Whatever you're doing here, please find some way to keep me from marrying Victor Royal.

The girl cried herself to sleep.

XXX

In another part of that same hotel, down another hallway, in another room, another person was contemplating that exact same question: Max, what on earth are you doing here?

Max sat down at the edge of the bed, recalling the past forty hours, or so . . .

XXX

He had left 99 at Control headquarters earlier the day before. He'd noticed that she'd been unusually quiet that day. He figured that she was still upset with him for accidentally starting that rumor . . . But Max had apologized profusely to her- repeatedly. After all, it wasn't really his fault- exactly. The blame really should have belonged to Sid Grim, his old Army buddy, but the man had already left the Washington area, and could not be reached to yell at. Just a couple of weeks earlier, when Sid had been in town, 99 had arranged for the Infamous Date, as it had come to be known at Control. Max had pared her up with Sid, and asked her to find a date for himself. And that she did. To the Chief (the quietest, most sullen, not to mention, cheapest date Max ever had the misfortune to go out with!). They'd gone to dinner and dancing, then topped off the evening with a late night movie. After dropping the Chief off, both men (Max and Sid) took 99 back to her apartment. Sid wanted to kiss 99 goodnight, but since neither Max, nor 99, was very receptive to the idea, they played a little joke on him, and when he'd closed his eyes to pucker up, Max had lifted McTavish, the neighbor's cat, into Sid's face, and let his friend kiss that. Then, much to Sid's chagrin, Max leaned over and kissed 99 goodnight, as well. He and Sid had argued all the way home to his apartment that night. Later, Max realized that he'd misplaced his wallet somewhere, and ventured back over to 99's to see if he had dropped it there. 99 had just gotten out of the tub, and she'd met him at the door, in her bathrobe- and nothing else. Well, Max had innocently relayed all of this information to a couple of his fellow Control agents, but the story had spread like wild fire, and had somehow metamorphosed into something much bigger, until, by the time it got back to poor Agent 99, someone told her that she had opened the door to Max, clad in nothing at all, and. . .

But he had apologized to her for that! Still, 99 had been behaving rather sulkily towards him since then. And, she seemed to be on the phone a lot, too. Long distance. He knew that, because whenever he tried to interrupt her to tell her a joke, or whine about how the coffee machine had busted down again, she would ever so gently, tell him to be quiet, she was talking long distance. Funny, but Max hadn't thought too much about it then.

So, to cheer her up, and smooth the uneasy rift forming between them, Max had gotten tickets to go see some stupid opera that looked lame and boring. He knew that 99 liked that sort of junk, though, so he thought that maybe, if he surprised her, then she'd snap out of her bad mood. After he'd bought the tickets, however, he'd realized that he had no money left to buy groceries for the week ahead. Ah well, he thought with a shrug, I'll just get 99 to divvy up for half.

Once he'd come back to Control headquarters, however, 99 had shattered any chance for a make up concert and dinner. She had- for some reason- decided just to run off to a far away island, to get married, instead. Max's plan wasn't the only thing shattered at the moment. His heart had broken into tiny, little pieces, as well.

XXX

He had watched her leave Control headquarters for the last time, too depressed to even enjoy the view, he was so full of despair. He realized that he was at a Crossroads now. Making a split decision on a life changing event, Max hastily picked up the phone and reserved a ticket for himself to the ominous island of San Jirman. Then, he raced home, to go pack.

In the car, his radio had been tuned to the pop station that 99 so loved to listen to. A Beatles song came on. It's words cut through Max like a knife.

"I think I'm gonna be sad. I think it's today- yeah!

The girl that's driving me mad is going away- yeah!

Aw, she's got a ticket to ride. She's got a ticket to ride!

She's got a ticket to ride, but she don't care!"

Max turned off the radio. Stupid George, he hissed to himself, Or is that Paul?

XXX

After gathering up his clothes, Max got to the airport in the nick of time to catch the midnight flight to San Jirman Island. Being that he had gotten a ticket at the last minute, he was stuck back in coach seating, in between an old, smelly man, and a big, fat lady, who was practically hanging over her chair onto him. The old, smelly man started up a conversation, discussing the good old days. He kept up his idle chatter, until he fell asleep in the middle of a story, snoring loudly. The fat lady on the other side of him opened up a bag of crunchy chips- and I mean, really crunchy! With a weary sigh, Max squirmed in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position- there wasn't any! He grabbed up his earphones and crammed them onto his head. Anything to escape his current predicament. A Beatles tune played in his ears.

"You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl) . . .

If you don't take her out tonight, she's gonna change her mind

(she's gonna change her mind)

And I will take her out tonight, and I will treat her fine

(I'm gonna treat her fine)

You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that)-"

Max ripped the earphones from his head. Stupid Beatles, he grumbled to himself, Darn that Ringo!

XXX

When he'd arrived at San Jirman Island, he had come to Victor Royal's casino to give the man a piece of his mind- as well as his fist! He had not come to save the life of the man who had stolen away his girl. But when he'd found himself in the situation, he just couldn't let some guy be killed. Even if the guy in question was a rotten, girl-stealing, jerk! Besides, if 99 had loved him enough to marry him, then maybe he wasn't too terrible of a person. And if he hadn't saved him, then he just wouldn't be able to live with it- even if 99 had never found out, then he still couldn't forgive himself.

So, he saved the charming scoundrel, and unwittingly gotten himself a job because of it. And the next night, Victor Royal introduced Max to his newly arrived fiancée, the lovely Miss Susan Hilton . . .

XXX

Max could never forget the look on 99's face, when he'd strolled onto the scene, and was introduced to her by her foppish fiancée, as Max Wheel, Victor's bodyguard. Being that she was a former Control agent, 99 was a good actress, and she hid her surprise well. But Max could see a brief flicker of shock in her luminous, blue eyes. It had secretly given him a little thrill, though, to have given her such a jolt.

But he realized how he had looked at his ex-partner, as if seeing her for the first time. By God, but she looked breathtaking! It was true, she took his breath away. He had only been away from her for a day, but at that moment it had seemed like years. All he wanted to do was grab her into his arms and shake her. Shake some sense into her. He wanted to scold her scold her and yell at her for being so stupid. And then he wanted to hold her; to wrap his arms so tightly around her that she could never get away. He wanted to fuse their lips together for eternity. (Oh where was the Imobilo when he needed it?)

And he'd been given a chance to do just that, when Victor had been called away for a moment. But when 99 had asked him the infamous question, "Max, what on earth are you doing here?" Max lost his nerve; and all of his anger, all of his conviction, all of his passion fell into the far recesses of his mind. His fear and his pain took over, and he hid his feelings behind a silly story- how he had grown tired of working in a dead end job, and that he wanted the fun and the freedom of wandering around a high rolling casino.

The minute he'd told her that, he wanted to kick himself. He had just dug himself into a bigger hole than he was already in. Worse than that, he had lied to 99. He had lied to the only woman he had ever loved. The woman he'd come to save! Well, he sighed inwardly, Looks like you just botched this up, Smart!

XXX

So now, Max found himself in that big, empty hotel room, sad and lonely, longing for 99's warm embrace. Or her delicious kiss. He would even settle for just her presence. Her absence haunted him. It left such a big hole in his life. But he could still remember her; still feel her. He laid down on the bed and tried to imagine 99 laying next to him, her long, slender arms wrapped around him; her full, luscious lips sensually covering his. . . he sighed and gave up on it. There was no point in being seduced by a phantom lover.

He got up out of his bed and began pacing back and forth, unable to sleep but unable to think of a solution to his problem. Out of frustration, Max turned on the television. Ah yes, t.v. will take away all of my problems.

First up, he saw a few minutes of Casablanca. He quickly changed the channel. It was usually a movie he loved to see, but he really didn't think the ending would be appropriate for his circumstances. Likewise with the next channel, Gone With The Wind, except that he remembered it was 99's favorite movie, and by that time, he was hooked. So, he sat up for four hours, then bawled shamelessly, as stupid Rhett Butler left the poor, grieving Scarlett. He cried for twenty minutes straight.

He tried to think more positively, by turning off the depressing boob tube and turned on the radio.

"Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Now it looks as though we're here to stay.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh yesterday came suddenly.

Why'd she have to go? I don't know, she wouldn't say-"

Max turned off the radio and fell back on the bed. "Jeez, that makes me feel like I want to die! Stupid John . . . or is that George?"

XXX

The next morning, Max showered and brushed his teeth. On the radio, which he'd braved up enough to turn back on the announcer said, "And continuing on with our week long Beatles marathon . . ."

Max sighed, as All You Need Is Love began to play. "Ha! You need more than that! Stupid George . . . or is that Ringo?"

XXX

Max did his rounds through the casino. His rounds (as Victor called them) mostly consisted of walking around the casino and making sure that no one did anything bad. Stupid Victor had the radio station piped into the casino, so he was bombarded with weepy Beatles tunes.

"I've lost her now for sure. I won't see her no more.

The world is treating me bad . . . Misery . . ."

Max tried to tune it out.

Ten minutes later, he heard the melancholy braying of John (or was it Paul?) singing . . .

"You don't realize how much I need you. Love you all time and never leave you . . ."

When he returned, he found Victor searching for him. "Oh Max," the suave casino owner called in a pleasant tone, "Would you come here for a moment, please?"

With a resigned sigh, Max walked to where the man was standing. His hatred for Victor was growing with each passing second, and it was getting harder and harder to hold his ire in check. He managed an icy smile, when he responded. "Yes, sir?"

"Max," Victor said, handing him two heavy moneybags, "If you really love 99, then you'd better tell her."

Smart shook his head clear. Had he heard right? He stared in confusion at his boss. "Wha?"

"I said," the man repeated patiently, "Could you bring in more wine, then take this to the bank teller?"

"Oh," Max said in comprehension, "Uh sure, Mr. Royal, whatever you say, sir." Whew! he sighed inwardly, For a second there, I thought I'd been discovered.

Pivoting on his heel, Max walked up the steps, to exit the casino, and right. On the speakers, he could hear.

"To lead a better life, I need my love to be here . . ."

99 rounded the corner.

"Here, making each day of the year . . .

Changing my life with the wave of her hand; nobody can

Deny that there's something there . . . "

Max watched the heavenly being as she started coming towards him.

"There, running my hands though her hair . . ."

His throat going dry, Max tried to think of something cool and clever to say before she came upon him.

Turns out, it didn't matter. Just before she had the chance to see him, stupid Victor Royal intercepted them, coming from another point in the casino. Max watched with heartache, as the debonair man took 99 into his arms, hugging her close and planting a kiss on the woman's cheek. Max whimpered once, then walked away, heading for the bank. What he didn't notice was that, the reason Victor had kissed 99's cheek, was because, at the last minute, she'd turned her head.

99 saw Max leaving the casino, looking sad and forlorn. His expression matched her own.

XXX

Max returned from the bank, and decided to stroll through the casino, dutifully doing his rounds. He sighed sadly. Here he was smack dab in the middle of things, feeling secure with his cover; yet he was not doing the things he needed to be doing. 99 was here, so near to him- but so distant, as well. He felt as if he were stuck. He was tortured by the fact that 99 might stand right next to him at any given minute, but he would be unable to touch her.

He realized he really needed to work on a plan of action, and- most importantly- follow through with it. But he was unsure of what course to take. Or, he reasoned, his eyes growing misty, If I should do anything at all. The fact was, what if 99 didn't want him here? What if she was perfectly happy in the life she'd chosen, and his being here was merely an annoying deterrent? Lowering his head, to hide his shame and confusion, Max pressed through the craps tables.

"If only someone would give me a sign!" he whispered desperately, glancing up to the heavens above.

At one of the craps tables, a young man- who barely looked old enough to shave, much less gamble- stood there, carefully placing a bet. He had the mop top haircut and wore a suit and tie- with the Beatles faces printed on it. He seemed a superstitious lot and was singing. "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

Max perked up instantly and stared hard at the youth. He stopped and lightly gripped the boy's arm. "Excuse me, son," he began, "But I need to ask you a question."

The young gambler appeared petrified by Max's approach. He began to sweat profusely. "Y-yeah, mister?" he whimpered.

"That song you were just singing," Max went on, unsure as to why the kid looked so scared (he supposed it was because he had such an imposing physique), but he asked, "What were the words?"

"Uh . . . I j-just said 'she loves you, y-yeah, yeah, y-yeah'."

Max scratched his chin in deep thought. "Hmm, that sounds very familiar to me. . ."

"G-gee, mister," the boy spoke up nervously, "It's just a B-Beatles song."

"A Beatles song?" Max declared in anger and frustration, "I should have known better! And just why did you sing that, kid?"

The sweating youth began to sob. "O-okay mister! You're r-right. I- I am too young to gamble. I- I'm really sorry! But I- I'll leave right now! I promise!" And the boy grabbed up his winnings, then fled the scene in a hurry.

Victor Royal approached from out of nowhere, and stood beside the bewildered Max. "Mister Wheel," the French accented man said, putting his bodyguard on the back, "Very good! I've had a little trouble lately with under age people sneaking in to gamble. But you certainly scared him off. If you see him again, though, detain him. Do you know what we do with unruly minors around here?"

Max shrugged. "Make them shovel coal?" he asked in confusion.

Victor laughed appreciatively. "Very funny, Max. Ah, you are such a witty man!"

"Wha?"

"You're very funny."

"Oh," Max finally comprehended, "Eh, right . . . that's me. A laugh a minute kind of guy."

Patting his shoulder, Victor smiled and said, "Yes, very good, Max. Oh, I almost forgot; I'm going to need you to take my fiancée shopping this afternoon. I would take her myself, as it is for wedding preparations and such, but I have a lot of business to attend to here. The casino is really booming now, and I have keep it up, while it's in the early stages."

Max couldn't believe what Victor was saying. The man was practically giving 99 to him for the entire day! "Um, does 9- uh, Su- um, Miss Hilton know that I'll be the one escorting her today?" he asked as innocently as he could.

"No, not you personally," Victor explained, "I just promised her I'd find someone to go with her. Why do you ask?"

"Uh, no reason," Max replied quickly.

"So, you don't mind?"

"Not at all," Max replied truthfully. He might finally have a chance to talk some sense into the girl- and maybe, he could also summon up the courage to tell her how he really felt about her, too.

"Good. Then it's settled. Meet us in the lounge in twenty minutes, please."

"Yes, sir!" Max said earnestly.

XXX

After running back to his hotel room, for a little freshening up (brushing teeth, fresh cologne, clipping his nails), Max raced back to the lounge, looking (and smelling) his best. He spied Victor standing beside the luminescent, but elusive 99- well, Susan- watching a nerdy looking lounge singer setting up to perform at the piano.

Ignoring the suave, impeccably dressed Royal completely, Max concentrated his full attention on his stunning ex-partner. She looked absolutely exquisite, as she smiled pleasantly and chatted with the singer. He sighed dreamily at her visage: High cheekbones; twinkling, blue eyes; straight teeth; cute, little nose; full, sensual lips. A classic beauty, if he ever saw one. And then there was her smooth, feminine lines and curves . . . Just the sight of her made Max's mouth water. That did it! He definitely had to get that woman back. It wasn't only his emotions that she stirred within him.

He started towards them, unable to stop smiling. 99- eh, Susan- awaited him. His smile disappeared, however, when he saw the tall, lanky Victor (a little too tall, if you asked him!) bend down and give his fiancée a soft, warm kiss upon her lips. The sight of that made Max's blood boil!

At the piano, the lounge singer began to sing a Beatles tune.

"Well, I'd rather see you, dead little girl, than to be with another man.

You'd better keep your head, little girl, or you won't know where I am . . ."

Max listened to the words with a growing amount of interest in his hurting heart. But he shook his head clear. After all, it wasn't 99 that he wanted to harm; it was that super-slick, phony casino loving, slime ball currently attached to 99 at the lips that was making Max's urge to kill rising!

Deciding to nip this disgusting display of affection in the bud, Max approached, standing right in front of them, and glaring pointedly. When that brought no response, he loudly cleared his throat several times.

Both Victor and 99 stopped kissing and looked up to find Max standing practically in between them. In fact, the moment they'd broken apart, Max actually did push his way in. "Well, Mr. Royal," he said quickly, "I'm here for your fiancée."

"Max?" 99 gaped in surprise. Then she composed herself, and pulled Victor aside. "Um, Victor, you chose your bodyguard to escort me around today?"

"But of course," Victor told her, "He will keep you safe, as well as keep you company. Is there a problem?"

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I don't know. Mr. . . . Wheel just doesn't seem like the type who'd want to go shopping with me. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

He smiled, then waved off her fears. "Don't worry, darling. Mr. Wheel will do just fine. He's actually a pretty handy man to have around."

"That's right," Max replied, butting into the conversation, and grabbing a hold of 99's arm. "Come on, Miss Hilton. Goodbye, Victor."

"Goodbye," Victor called cheerfully, waving at them both. He seemed oblivious to the determined look in his bodyguard's eyes; as well as the almost panicked expression on his fiancée's face.

XXX

"Max," 99 said.

He ignored her, and continued plodding through the casinos, out the door, yanking her steadily along with him.

"Max."

They reached the car.

"Max!"

"What?!" he shouted back in annoyance.

"Max," she sighed, forcing back her own irritation and disbelief, "Please tell me what you're doing."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm taking you into town to do some shopping. Or didn't Mr. Victor I'm-so-great- 'cause-I-own-a-stupid-casino Royal make that clear enough for you?"

Hiding her amusement by his childish antics, she asked him point blank, "Did you put him up to it?"

"No!" he answered truthfully, not liking the doubt he saw in her eyes. "Why would you think that?"

99 looked away from him. "I don't know," she admitted quietly. She'd been hoping he'd take this moment to reveal his feelings for her. He did not. "I just thought that maybe . . ." her voice trailed off sadly.

"Yeah," he muttered sarcastically at her, "Like it's my big thrill to play babysitter to you all day, while you traipse all over town, looking at wedding stuff, for your stupid marriage to that even stupider Victor Royal!" By the time he had finished with his little tirade, Max was huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf himself.

"More stupid," 99 corrected him absently. She was a little perturbed by his choice of words. But more prominent were her feelings of compassion and hope; all emitting from her and all for the man she loved. And the truth was, she was aching for Max; longing for him to take her in his arms and hold her tight. She wanted nothing more than to sob against his capable shoulder and hear him say that everything would be all right.

She'd noticed how nicely he had dressed up for her. She'd seen the jealousy smoldering in his eyes when he'd interrupted her and Victor's kiss in the lounge. Obviously, he had to have some feelings for her; especially for him to leave Control, leave his job, his home, his friends, his life behind, just to follow her to some tiny, out of the way island. And yet, thus far, he had said nothing to her about marrying Victor (except complaining about having to take her shopping). He had not professed his love for her. Had not demanded that she leave this god-forsaken place and come back home with him. She didn't care if he was angry. Didn't mind if he yelled at her. All she wanted was for him to stake his claim on her and take her home.

But Max just stood there with his arms folded across his chest. She smiled at him. As upsetting as the situation was, she couldn't help but to be enchanted by his endearing qualities. "I'm sorry, Max. I- I didn't mean to upset you. Why don't we just . . . go shopping now?"

"Fine," he grumbled, opening the door for her, before going to the driver's side and sliding in behind the wheel.

On the radio, was yet another Beatles song . . .

"You'll never know how much I really love you

You'll never know how much I really care

Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell . . ."

Yeah, Max thought hopefully, as he pulled out of the parking lot, You sing it, Ringo . . . or is that Paul?

XXX

For the next week, it went that way. The unsuspecting Victor sent Susan on her merry way with his trusty bodyguard Max Wheel. And unknown to him, Max and 99 went out to lunch and shopping every day, having the time of their lives . . .

Max and 99 sat in a cozy, little ice cream parlor at the counter, sharing a chocolate malt and talking easily to each other.

"Anyway," Max was saying, "So, I says to Mabel, I says . . ."

"Excuse me, sir," a soda jerk interrupted, "Would you care for any more?"

Looking expectantly over at his companion, Max asked, "What do you say, 99- I mean, Susan? You up for another?"

"No Max," she laughed, "After all, we've already had three helpings."

"So, what do we care?" he told her with a grin, "It's only Victor's money!"

99 only laughed harder. Max joined in.

The soda jerk took away their half-full malt glass. He figured they needed a break. They must have been on some sort of a sugar high.

Both of them got up to leave. Max paid the man (with Victor's money) and the two of them headed to the car, so they could go do some more shopping.

"Oh Max," 99 said, falling into her familiar maternal role, "You've got chocolate on your chin." She removed a handkerchief from her purse, then dabbed it to her tongue. "Here, let me get it." She proceeded to wipe the chocolate off, the way she'd done a hundred times before.

"Thanks, 99- I mean Susan," Max said, reveling in her care and affection, "You're very kind."

"That's alright, Max."

At the same time, both of them seemed to notice how close they were, standing next to each other. "99," he whispered softly.

"Max," she whispered back.

The two of them drew closer. They closed their eyes. They reached for each other. . .

"Hey, mister!" the soda jerk from the ice cream shop cried out, running down the sidewalk after them. "Sir, you forgot your change!" He handed it to Max, breathless from his jog.

99 walked away, totally embarrassed and extremely confused.

"Thanks a lot," Max hissed at the guy sarcastically, before running after his companion, "Hey, 99! Wait up, will ya?"

The soda jerk watched them disappear around the corner. He shook his head. "What a couple of freaks! I sure hope they come back, though. They're fun to watch."

XXX

They reached the bridal shop, after having driven there in complete silence. Max parked the car, then raced around to open up 99's door for her. He offered her his hand, secretly sweating, hoping that she would take it.

Thankfully, she did take it. She averted her eyes, but gave it a squeeze. Then they entered the boutique.

A young, polite salesgirl saw them come in and made a beeline for them. "Hello," she said pleasantly, "And welcome! My name is Mavis. How may I help you?"

"Well Mavis," Max said, copying her tone, but not really feeling it, "We're here to find the young lady some kind of . . . uh, bridal . . . stuff." He looked down at his shoes, feeling really depressed all of a sudden.

"Wonderful," the little blond spoke up, delightedly clapping her hands together, "Well sir," she went on, "Let's see if we can set your daughter up with a dazzling dress."

99 blushed furiously and looked away.

Max eyed the young sales lady with confusion. "Wha? What do you mean? I don't have any daughters . . ."

"Oh," Mavis replied in embarrassment, "I'm sorry about that, sir. I, uh, meant your. . . well, is this young lady your fiancée, then?"

Max stared longingly at 99 for a moment. "Um, well I . . . not exactly, uh . . ."

His stammering and lovelorn look concerned and upset 99. The truth was, this whole week had been so nice and friendly for the two of them. They'd been going to lunch, and buying little, piddly things. Neither of them had seen much of Victor at all. And neither of them had even mentioned the wedding either. Until now. 99 didn't want to hurt Max. After all, she loved him. "He's my . . . best friend," she said diplomatically.

"Aw, isn't that just the sweetest way to put it?" the oblivious Mavis gushed, "Miss; sir . . . have a seat right here, and I will bring you many wonderful things to look at."

She hustled off.

Silently, Max sat down in one of the preferred chairs. 99 did likewise, sitting next to him. They said not a word, and avoided eye contact with each other.

Mavis returned, with catalogues of different wedding dresses, and several material and pattern swatches. 99 tried to hide the fact that she was overwhelmed. Max tried to hide the fact that he was ready to cry. And Mavis tried to hide the fact that she'd never seen such a solemn couple in her life. 99 looked through the catalogues, then half-heartedly made a few choices.

"Great!" Mavis cried, trying to keep up a level of enthusiasm- it wasn't easy with this bunch! "Now, let's have you try on some of those dresses. Will your . . . best friend be staying to see?"

"Um . . ." 99 mumbled.

"Sure, I will," Max muttered, "Why shouldn't I?"

"Bravo, sir!" Mavis applauded, "It's nice to see a couple that isn't so superstitious. Come on, miss, let's try on those gowns." Having remarkable strength for someone so tiny, Mavis reached out, took a hold of 99's hand and yanked her to her feet. They ventured into the dressing room.

Max then noticed that the boutique was playing the same radio station that stupid Victor had piped into his casino. It had been hard to tell before, because little Mavis had a big mouth, and she used it- a lot!

"Although I laugh and I act like a clown.

Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown.

My tears are falling like rain from the sky.

Is it for her, or myself that I cry?

I'm a loser. And I've lost someone who's near to me.

I'm a loser. And I'm not what I appear to be . . ."

"Darn, stupid Paul," Max muttered under his breath, trying to keep his own tears from falling, "Or is that Ringo?"

After waiting for about twenty minutes, rutzing around and growing more important, and upset with each passing second (and with each passing Beatles tune), Max stood up and was just about ready to step outside for a cigarette, when he saw someone approaching from the dressing rooms.

Mavis popped out first, wearing a knowing smile. "Oh, Mister Wheel," she said in anticipation, "Miss Hilton is ready to come out now. We tried on a few dresses, but we both agree that this one takes the cake! I think you'll agree that your fiancée is just to die for!"

"Yes, she is," Max murmured sadly. He knew that he could never hesitate risking (or losing) his life for her. And he had the sinking suspicion that he wasn't going to be able to survive without her, either. He sighed resignedly. "Well, kiddo," he told the beaming sales girl, "Go ahead and let her in."

"Yes, sir!" Mavis cried, and she pulled back to the dressing room curtain. "Mister Wheel, feast your eyes on this!"

Max looked up, determined to maintain his look of disinterest, but his jaw dropped in awe, as 99 a vision of loveliness in pristine white, her gown flowing behind her like angels' wings, stepped into the light. The sight of her breathtaking, ethereal beauty put tears in Max's eyes. He seemed unable to speak.

99 stared back at her ex-partner, feeling uncomfortable in the dress and all it stood for. His gaze on her never wavered, which made 99 tear up. "Max?" she murmured, almost in a whisper, "What do you think?" Both she and Mavis eyed him expectantly for an answer.

"I think," Max admitted, "That you're the most . . . beautiful sight I've ever laid eyes on."

99's cheeks turned pink from his outburst. "Oh Max," she breathed.

"Well then," Mavis said happily, "I'd say that this dress is a hit! Shall I put you down for it, Miss Hilton?"

"Um, well, I . . . don't really know . . ."

"Answer the girl, 99," Max said, his love for her darkening into jealousy and remorse.

"Of course," Mavis chatted on, "There are still many more styles to choose from, if you're undecided on this-"

"Shut up, Mavis, this is important," Max snapped, "Well, Susan, what's it going to be?"

Mavis cheerfully quieted down (after all, the customer is always right!) and looked from Max's face 99's. They both seemed to be near tears and looked very upset about something. And it was a pity, too. They made such a nice looking couple.

"I . . ." 99 still was unsure. "I mean, I guess I should . . ."

"She'll take it!" Max barked, making the decision for her. He handed the sales girl a wad of cash. "Here, Mavis, wrap it up for us, would you? I'm sure Miss Hilton's fiancée will be mightily impressed with this gown."

99 began to cry, and she rushed back into the dressing room.

"Sir," Mavis said in confusion, as she watched 99 flee the scene, "I don't understand. I thought you were supposed to be her fiancée."

"Yeah well," Max replied bitterly, "Things don't always work out the way they're supposed to." He sighed and lowered his head. Then he handed Mavis another bill. "Listen Mavis, please give this money to Miss Hilton, and call her a cab. I've got. . . well, I really can't stay here any longer." He left in a hurry.

Mavis stood in the middle of it all, holding on outrageous amount if cash in her tiny hands. It had been the easiest sale she'd ever made. But with the sad and unusual circumstances, she couldn't help but to feel unhappy about the whole thing.

XXX

Max drove back to the casino, crying his eyes out. A Beatles song- a really sad one, too- played over the radio; but Max didn't turn it off. Instead, he listened to the words, letting them cleanse his soul, just as his tears cleansed his pores.

"Your day breaks; your mind aches.

You find that all her words of kindness linger on, when she no longer needs you."

He sighed, wiping futilely at his eyes. He realized now that he had lost her. 99 was gone. She was no longer his- if she ever was at all.

"You want her; you need her and yet you don't believe her

When she says her love is dead. You think she needs you."

Max was going over things in his mind. Trying to think of a way that he could give his resignation to Victor Royal. Hoping beyond hope that there would be a flight available tonight, so that he could go home.

"You stay home, she goes out. She says that long ago she knew someone.

But now he's gone; she doesn't need him.

Your day breaks. Your mind aches.

There will be times when all the things she's said will fill your head.

You won't forget her.

And in her eyes you see nothing. No sign of love behind the tears.

Cried for no one. A love that should have lasted years . . ."

XXX

Arriving at the casino, Max parked the company car in its designated space in the underground lot. From there, he marched right inside, desperately looking for Victor Royal. One of his assistants told Max that the casino owner was currently in a very important meeting and could not be disturbed. He told Max to come back in about a half-hour and he should be available to talk.

With a world-weary sigh, Max said he'd come back, and to please let Mr. Royal know he needed to talk to him. The assistant agreed, then Max trudged upstairs to his room.

He flipped on the radio, hoping to catch a weather report. Feeling exhausted all of a sudden, Max lay down on his bed, closing his eyes. Much to his chagrin, another depressing Beatles song began to play. And he was just too tired to get up and turn the radio off.

"I'm so tired, I don't know what to do.

I'm so tired, my mind is set on you.

I wonder should I call you, but I know what you will do . . ."

XXX

Having drifted off to sleep, Max woke up with a jolt. He glanced at his watch, said, "Oh no!" then raced downstairs. He found Victor's assistant, who assured Max that he hadn't missed Royal at all- his meeting was running a little long, and that if Max would just wait in the lounge, Victor would meet up with him soon.

Max sat in the lounge, and watched as the dorky lounge singer sat down at the piano to sing a song. Smart rolled his eyes. The last time the guy had sung something, it had given Max murderous inclinations. He hated to wonder what terrible thoughts the guy would put into his head this time.

The man began to sing . . .

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better."

Such words caused Max to perk up and listen more closely. Those weren't the sad, painful, depressing words of a man giving up on life. These were the happy, hopeful, meaningful words of a man who should never give up. Max kept listening.

"Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better."

"By jove, he's right," Max murmured to himself, "I need to get 99 under my skin. I have to . . . let her into my heart! It's what I need to do. But . . . how?"

"And any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain.

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well, you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na . . ."

"Drop the chip off my shoulder," Max said, jotting down the words in his notebook, he retrieved from his pocket, "Right. Don't play it cool." He waited for more advice.

"Hey Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her.

Remember, to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better."

"Gotta let her in," Max said, with conviction, "Gotta go and get her. But how do I do that? And I wish he'd quit calling me Jude. It's confusing!" He pictured the lounge singer saying his name instead.

"So let it out, and let it in, hey Max, begin.

You're waiting for someone to perform with.

And don't you know that it's just you, hey Max, you'll do!

The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na . . ."

"Let it out and let it in," Max theorized, "Ah-ha! Take a deep breath! Yes, that's it! And in order to function- or perform- in my life, I really do need 99 there with me. The opportunity is right here on my shoulder. All I gotta do is take it. And na-na-na-na-na- oh yeah, that's just the chorus!"

"Hey Max, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember, to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better . . ."

As the lounge singer got his audience to clap along, and help him sing the chorus, Max stood up and pounded his fist against the table. "Alright!" he exclaimed, "This is it! I must go and get her! I must let her under my skin! I must let her into my. . . heart. And I will, by God, I will!"

Forgetting all about his important meeting with Victor Royal, he marched up to the unsuspecting lounge singer and gave the man a big hug, thanking him profusely. Then, he set out to find the one he needed to perform with . . .

XXX

99 had come back to the casino in a cab, crying all the way. She paid the driver, and not wanting to speak to anyone, let him keep the change- a remarkably substantial tip. From there, she'd raced up to her room, glad that no one had paid her any mind.

Once she was safe and alone, 99 laid down on her bed and sobbed her guts out. After crying for nearly an hour in the dressing room of the bridal shop, with only poor, helpless, little Mavis to comfort her, 99 hadn't thought herself capable of any more tears. She was wrong.

While she sobbed, she heard the soft sounds of the radio being piped into the hallway. She could hear- faintly- a Beatles tune being played.

"Who knows how long I've loved you. You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will . . ."

XXX

Max had found out from a hotel attendant that Miss Hilton had been observed rushing up to her room. She'd appeared quite upset, the man had relayed. And no wonder! After all, Max had made her cry in a public place, but only before leaving her there to fend for herself. He'd asked the attendant if 99- ahem, Susan- had brought home her wedding gown. The man assured him she'd had nothing among her person- save for a tiny handbag, and a crumpled up handkerchief.

Such a revelation made Max grow even more hopeful. So, she had not purchased the wedding dress. That was a very good sign, a very good sign, indeed!

As he ran down the hallway to her room, he could hear the soft, lulling sounds of another Beatles tune being played.

"And when at last I find you, your song will fill the air.

Sing it loud, so I can hear you. Make it easy to be near you.

For the things you do endear you to me. You know I will. I will . . . "

Without knocking, Max took out his lock pick and opened up her door. Creeping in quietly, he found the girl laying across the bed, and sobbing into her pillow. He silently made his way next to her bed. His heart pounding in his throat, Max reached out and touched her gently on the shoulder.

She jumped, with a startled gasp, and turned around quickly to face her intruder. Her eyes red and swollen, she wiped at them, then stood up. "Max!" she exclaimed in alarm, "I . . . how did you . . .?"

"Listen 99," he told her, his breath quickening, his palms beginning to sweat, "I gotta tell you something- now!"

"But Max-"

"No, 99," he interrupted her, "I have to say what I need to say, or I'll forget, or maybe lose my nerve, or-"

"What is it, Max?" she asked, growing interested in spite of herself.

"99, you're . . . under my skin, and I gotta let you in. Or is it, out? Well, I mean, I've been waiting to perform with you. But see, the world was on my shoulder, and I was a fool, letting my heart get colder- or did it just get chilly? Anyway, I just, well, I found you, now I go get you. And the minute I let you into my heart, then I can start to make it . . ." He checked his notes. ". . . better!"

The ex-Control agent stared at him in complete bafflement. His words sounded like a fragmented version of her favorite Beatles tune, Hey Jude. She understood what that song had to say, but she was unsure of what Max was trying to tell her. "Max," she admitted, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not following you."

He groaned in frustration. "Look 99," he said, his breathing shallow, "I . . .know I'm not real good at this- and the truth is, I'm not good at this at all! 'Cause well, I don't even know if I'm ready yet. But you're sort of forced me to take a stand and . . ."

"Max?" she asked.

"Oh 99," he said, beginning to cry, "I just can't say it! Not yet! But just because I can't say it yet, doesn't mean I don't feel it!" He paused, rubbing his hand across his tear stained face. "99," he whispered, "I . . . can't tell you. All I can do is offer you a promise. And I do, 99, sincerely. I promise you! Ah jeez, why can't you just take that and accept it?" He began to sob harder. 99 just stared at him in shock. She said nothing. "You'll ruin everything, you know," he yelled into her face, "I had plans, 99! Plans for us both! And now they're meaningless! You were supposed to be my someone to perform with!"

Before she could even hope to reply, Max ran out of the room.

XXX

Max left the hallway that encased the hotel room, which housed the woman he loved. He ran down it, not daring to look back. He didn't return to his room right away, though. Instead, he ventured outside and stood around by the tall, illuminated fountain in front of the casino. People passed him by, staring at his pitiful form in sympathy. Some didn't even notice him. Most people were used to seeing forlorn looking characters around a casino. They figured he was aching from losing all of his money. Most had not a clue that he was crying from a broken heart.

Max glanced down at the cool, clear water of the fountain below. He saw a million pennies, or more. A million wishes, he mused with a bittersweet smile. He himself had tossed a coin into it upon his arrival here a week ago. But his dream hadn't come true- not at all. He wondered how many other lives had been shattered by this evil fountain of pain; this dream killer. This destroyer of hope!

He sat at the fountain for the longest time, staring down at his pathetic reflection. He half-heartedly joked about drowning himself in the two-foot pool of water, but then realized that such a thing would not be feasible. He was simply too tall for that.

On his way back up to his room, Max contemplated the words to the song he thought had been his salvation. Obviously, Hey Jude had been meant only for Jude, himself, and not Max. Spying the lounge singer who'd given him the false words of hope outside of the hotel entrance, smoking a cigarette, Max walked by, giving him a rough shove. "Jerk!" he muttered as he passed.

The man watched Max skulk away in surprise. He couldn't be sure, but he could have sworn that it had been the same guy who, just an hour before, had given him the biggest hug he'd ever received; and that included from his mother!

XXX

Max made it to his room and unlocked the door. He was going to pack, then just forget about talking to Royal (he'd leave him a nice letter of resignation at the hotel lobby desk), then take a taxi to the airport and stay there, until he could get the next available flight back to Washington. He opened up the door and was met with darkness. That's funny, I thought I left the light on, Max pondered in confusion, growing a bit nervous at the impending doom such darkness could harvest. (After all, he didn't know if Gollywoggles could be indigenous to islands, or not.)

He reached for the light switch, but somebody beat him to it. Suddenly, the room was bright and blinding, causing the pupils in Max's blood shot eyes to dilate. It took him a moment for them to adjust, so he could focus on his unexpected visitor. "99!"

99 stood before him, suitcase in hand, her eyes as red and swollen as his. "Um, hi," she whispered, sounding quite shy.

"99," he gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"I . . . just want to tell you," she began softly, "That I understand."

He looked at her in utter confusion. The girl wasn't making any sense. (And that was his job!) "You understand, eh? Really? Well, would you mind explaining it to me, because I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Max," she said, setting down her suitcase, and edging just the slightest bit closer to him, "I meant that I understand about your . . . promise."

He eyed her in shock. He hadn't been expecting this. He thought he'd lost her for sure. But this new development seemed to be leaning towards the other way. "You do?"

"Yes," she told him, "I do. And I just want you to know that . . ." She hesitated.

"What, 99, what?" he asked breathlessly. He came closer and gripped her hands tightly into his.

"Max," she went on, "I . . . I really understand what you were trying to say to me. And I . . . accept."

"Really?" he cried in delight.

"But, before we go any further," she said, her voice growing stern, as she wriggled her way out of his grasp, and turned away from him, "I need you to realize that I'm going to really hold you to your promise, Max. And that I have a few conditions of my own."

He gulped. This sounded a little suspicious. Still, he knew he should hear her out. He realized that he'd say yes to anything she demanded, anyway, he wanted her that badly. "Such as?" he asked innocently.

"Such as," she informed him, her tone rising in pitch, "That you stop taking me for granted!"

"Done!" he declared, reaching for her.

She pulled back. "I'm not finished yet, Max."

"Oh. Uh, please continue."

"I'm tired of watching you flirt with every woman you see!"

"I don't do that," he insisted, "Why, just two weeks ago, we saved that Miss Oaderman from KAOS, and I didn't flirt with her once!"

"Max, she's eighty-two years old," 99 reminded him.

"But I didn't flirt with her," he reiterated.

"Fine, Max," she sighed, "How's this? No more flirting with young, beautiful women."

"So, in other words," Max related in confusion, "You don't mind if I flirt with the old, ugly ones?"

"Max!" she groaned in frustration.

"No flirting with any woman, at all," Max said quickly, anxious to pacify her, "Uh, gotcha! Anything else?"

"Yes," she said, getting angry by his flippant remarks of what to her was a serious matter, "You can also start paying more attention to me!"

"Well," he huffed, folding his arms indignantly at her accusing tone, "How could I ignore you when you act like that?"

"Maxwell Smart!-"

"Susan Hilton," he returned.

"Don't call me that, Max," she said, "It really isn't my name."

"It isn't?"

"No, it isn't."

He smiled happily. Not that he didn't like the name, it's just that, to him, she would always be 99. "Does that mean I can call you 99 again?"

Instead of answering, 99 reached out for him impulsively, pulling him close. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She found his lips with her own.

Max couldn't believe it! 99 was currently giving him the most hot and heavy kiss he'd ever received; French style. He'd only hoped that stupid Victor Royal hadn't been the one to teach it to her.

"My God!" a voice cried out from the hallway.

Max backed away, pulling his entire lower lip out of 99's mouth, and they glanced over to see a very hurt and angry Victor Royal staring at them with wide-eyed astonishment. "Victor!" he exclaimed in alarm.

"Max," 99 tried to silence him.

"Susan!" Victor shouted.

"Victor!"

"Max!"

"Susan!"

"Victor!"

"Max!"

"Susan!"

Once roll call was over, the three of them stared unabashedly at each other for several seconds.

"Uh listen, 99," Max offered, "Why don't you let me handle this."

"No Max," she disagreed, "I need to tell him myself."

"So, you were right, weren't you Susan," Victor hissed at her, "Perhaps I shouldn't have let Mister Wheel accompany you everywhere this past week. Obviously, the two of you got very close, indeed!"

"No Victor," she told him, "Max and I knew each other . . . before."

"We were best friends," Max told him.

"Yes, very good friends," Victor alluded, "And I suppose that would explain the disturbing display I just witnessed."

"Wha?"

Victor sighed, getting fed up with his dense former employee (yes, he considered the man as good as fired!). "I was talking about your passionate liaison with my fiancée!"

"Passionate lison? Uh, layson?" Max tried to repeat it. "Uh, sorry Victor, just a slip of the tongue."

"So, I observed!" Victor hissed, "You dare to handle another man's intended?!"

"Now wait just a minute, Victor!" Max shouted back at him, his own rage mounting, "Way before Susan was your fiancée, 99 was my . . . well, my . . ."

"Your what?" Victor demanded to know.

"My everything," Max admitted.

"Victor," 99 carefully intervened, resting a tentative hand on the man's arm, "I am so very sorry that things had to work out this way. I feel horrible for the way I've treated you. I just . . . I guess I wasn't very honest with you- or myself, for that matter."

He looked at her in disbelief. "You mean you actually have feelings for this odd, little man?"

"Hey!" Max roared, "Who are you calling little?!"

"Yes," 99 admitted, "All my feelings are for him. I hate to do this to you, but I can't . . . well, I just can't marry you."

"Ha!" he laughed into her face, with a nasty tone, but his eyes were glistening with tears, "As if I would marry you now!"

"Now just a minute here, bub!" Max came to 99's defense. "Any man should consider himself the luckiest son of a gun in the world to marry this girl! After all, she's the most loving and perfect-"

"Max," 99 whispered discreetly, "He's agreeing with us. Please don't try to further our cause any, okay?"

He nodded smartly. "Right."

"I have to go now, Victor," she went on, standing up tall to kiss his cheek. "Again, I apologize for any heartache I have caused you. I am truly sorry." She turned to Max, her true intended. "I'll be downstairs, Max, while you pack. I'll hail us a cab. Please meet me there soon."

"Yes," Max agreed, growing warm and fuzzy inside. He watched her leave the room, enjoying the view, before realizing that there was a heartbroken man standing beside him. A man whose heartbreak was caused by Max's new found happiness. "Eh, listen Victor," he began sympathetically, trying to find some way to ease the pain of the blow, "99- I mean, Susan- wasn't the only person not honest with you, obviously. As you know, I lied to you, too. And I never came here as a soldier of fortune. I came here as a man who had to fight for the woman he loved. See, I've known this girl for such a long time now, and there's always been this . . . unspoken agreement between us; a pact that would ensure us that we'd someday be together. But I guess that 9- uh, Susan- needed something more than that. And she got upset, or mad, or crazy, and she just fell into the arms of the first handsome guy who paid her any attention, because, well, I guess I'm not the most openly affectionate man in the world sometimes. So, she just got up and left me . . ."

"She left you for me," Victor said pointedly, barely containing his grief and rage. "Mister Wheel, I truly did love Susan. And I am so much better off than you are. I can give her things you couldn't even dream of. I have the money, the power and the influence to take care of her the way she should be taken care of. I would have treated her like a queen!"

"Well," Max surmised thoughtfully, "Maybe she just wanted to be treated like a woman."

Victor narrowed his eyes at the philosophizing dolt. "But I can do that, too! And I can give her so much more! What can you offer her?"

Max shrugged. "Right now? Just my promise."

"Promise?" Victor asked doubtfully, "Your promise of what?"

"My devotion," Max explained, "My heart. My undying love."

"I was prepared to make such a promise," Victor told him.

"But I can promise her something that you could never offer her."

"And what is that, Mister Wheel?"

"My complete and utter dependence," Max stated proudly, "Look Royal, we may both love her, but I seriously doubt that you really need her. You've got your casino. Some of your staff told me that before you got engaged to 99- uh, Susan- you were a real ladies' man. You could have any girl you want- and often did, from what I've heard. But not me. I mean, I admit that I've flirted and dated other women now and then, mostly in the line of duty, though; but after meeting our girl, when I first laid eyes on her, I haven't ever been with anyone since. And I've known her for years, now if you get my meaning. A man like you would probably find it hard to believe, but without Susan- I mean, 99- in my life, I would die. And that's the truth . . ."

"Mister Wheel, that is the most idiotic, ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Victor roared. He paused for a long moment before continuing, "But seeing as I believe you, I have no choice but to . . . bid adieu." He turned on his heel, and left Max alone to pack up his belongings.

XXX

Two hours later, Max and 99 found themselves on a plane back to Washington. It was amusing for Max to realize that, it used to be 99 who was the more affectionate and clingy of the two. But that wasn't the case now- not anymore. Max couldn't seem to get enough of her. Whether it was holding her hand, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, or resting his hand upon her knee, he just felt compelled to keep in constant contact with her.

The two of them spent the entire trip, cuddling and necking with each other. The stewardess had even assumed the two were newly weds and even asked them if they were on their way to their honeymoon. Before Max had the chance to set the record straight, 99 cut in, by saying, "No, actually, we're just getting back."

Touched by 99's wit and their private joke (one that he knew wouldn't stay a joke for long), Max kissed her passionately, and told her, "Just you wait, 99. That may not be the only honeymoon I take you on. And the next one will be even more fun!"

99 said nothing. Only smiled knowingly in reply.

XXX

When their plane had landed at the Washington airport, Max sent 99 to go find their bags, while he ducked behind a luggage rack, and secretly called the Chief on his shoe phone. He'd told the man that he'd brought 99 back home with him, and then asked if it would be possible for the Chief to set up some kind of welcome back party for her.

The Chief agreed heartily to the plan. Not only was he glad- and relieved- to be getting one of his greatest agents back on the team, but he was actually happy for Max. He'd known as well as everyone else at Control had known, the real reason Max had gone off to San Jirman Island, after 99. But he also knew that if Max returned without her, then the poor guy would probably have just let himself go. He wouldn't have lasted long without his faithful partner- and this had nothing to do with secret missions. This had to do with the secret longings the two of them shared with each other. Only now, the way Max was talking, it sounded as if maybe their longings for each other weren't such a secret anymore. The Chief was happy for them both. He realized that his official position as their boss taught that he should not approve of agents seeing each other socially (to say nothing of falling in love!), but Max and 99 were the exception. And as their friend and father figure, the Chief was pleased as punch to see that in such a big and scary world, it was nice to know that a guy still had a chance to find- and retrieve- his soul mate.

Once their luggage was picked up, Max hailed a taxi, which took them back to his place. 99 currently had no apartment to go home to. She would have to see about reissuing her lease back at her old complex, but at one in the morning, such things were not possible. Besides, both of them were exhausted, and just wanted to sleep.

Max made up the couch for himself, and insisted that 99 take the bed. With great reluctance, she did so. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Max, on the other hand, tossed and turned for nearly an hour, unable to sleep, for all that he was so tired. All he could think about was the beautiful woman sleeping upstairs in his bed, and his longing to stay close to her; holding her tightly, so that she could never get away again. After some debating, Max snuck up to the room, to check on his houseguest.

99 lay sleeping in his bed, with a look of contentment on her soft, angelic face. The very sight of her warmed his heart. He knelt down beside her, and gently brushed back her bangs. Staring intently at her, Max traced the curves of her face with his fingers. He stayed that way until he fell asleep leaning up against the nightstand, clutching her hand.

Waking up an hour later, 99 found Max snoring placidly on the floor on her side of the bed. She smiled lovingly at him, then whispered his name until he came to. She told him to just lie down next to her, in his bed, on his pillow, because the floor was just too uncomfortable. Once she'd asked, the tired Max gave her no arguments, and climbed in beside her, reveling in her warmth. They snuggled up close, arms and legs intertwined.

"Good night, 99," he whispered happily, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.

"Good night, my darling Max," she yawned sleepily.

He reached up and kissed her softly on the lips, then they both headed into dreamland.

Max had a phantom lover no more . . .

XXX

Later that next evening, after 99 had been officially rehired at Control and had been sworn in, giving her oath of loyalty to her country, her president and her government agency, the Chief and Max led her to the banquet hall, surprising her with a party. All of Control had shown up, it seemed, and the place was packed with friends and well wishers. But whether they knew her personally, or not, everyone was glad to have her back.

The party was in full swing. Max smiled as he watched 99 cut a rug on the dance floor with Hymie the robot. It was good to have her back. No, it was better than good! Max just couldn't seem to find words adequate enough to describe how he really felt.

Leaving the great hall, to step outside on the balcony for a change of scenery, Max breathed in the cool, night air. He gazed, mesmerized at all of the dazzling city lights. It was like looking into the heavens above, filled with bright, twinkling stars, just like 99's bright, blue eyes.

He sighed and thought about his close call at San Jirman Island. He had almost lost 99- for good! The only woman he'd ever loved. His dream girl. His partner with the unspoken agreement.

A Beatles tune played softly from inside the hall. This one seemed to hold a lot of significance for him. Maybe more so than any of the thousand other's he'd heard all week long at Victor Royal's casino.

"There are places I remember; all my life, though some have changed.

Some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain.

All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall.

Some are dead and some are living. In my life, I've loved them all . . ."

"Hey, can you use some company?"

Max spun around to see his beloved 99 standing there, looking radiant and taking his breath away. Just the sight of her caused his pulse to quicken. "Uh, hi, 99."

She came closer, and wrapped her arms around him. "Wow, what a pretty view."

"It most certainly is," he said, staring directly at her.

"But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one who compares with you.

And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new."

99 blushed and averted her eyes. She quickly changed the subject. "Well, it certainly is good to be back."

"I agree." Max put his arms around her waist, pulling her close, and he began dancing with her, swaying back and forth to the music.

"Gee," she admitted, staring dreamily into his eyes, "I never realized I could miss . . . Control so much."

"Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before,

I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more . . ."

After a brief reflection of the Beatles teachings, Max told her, "Control missed you, too."

She laughed, mistaking his meaning. "Glad to hear it. Otherwise, they might not have given me my job back and then where would I be?"

"99," Max told her in all seriousness, his dark, beady eyes gazing deeply into her big, blue ones, "Control really did miss you."

Finally taking his meaning, she looked hopefully at him. "Really?"

"Yes. Control would have been lost without you."

"Oh, Max, I-"

"99," he interrupted, "Control . . . well, he really needs you."

"He does?" she asked, her eyes welling up with tears.

Swallowing his fear and forcing himself to face his feelings head on, Max stopped their dancing and took both of her hands into his. "99," he whispered, "Control really . . .well, he's . . . in love with you . . ."

The young woman began to sob tears of joy. To hear these loving words, cryptic as they were, meant more to her than even the biggest wedding or the most romantic honeymoon that Victor could ever offer her. "Oh Max, I- well, I just want you to know that I love . . . Control, very much."

"Really, 99?" he gasped, his eyes growing wide.

"There is nobody I could ever love more," she admitted.

"Oh, 99!"

"Oh, Max!"

The two of them drew closer instinctively, and they shared a passionate, but tender kiss. They held each other tightly, neither of them wanting to ever let go.

"In my life, I love you more . . ."

Max sighed dreamily, as he continued to kiss 99. God bless those Beatles . . .

The End

By Lisa M. S. Johns (soon to be Stiles) May/2001

Notes: 1. This story is an alternate ending to the 3rd season episode "99 Loses Control", in which 99 decides to leave her job at Control and travel to the island of San Jirman, to marry Victor

Royal, a suave casino owner. Max follows her there, but cannot admit his feelings for her.

Luckily, he finds out that Victor is a cheat and a KAOS agent. In my story, though, in this alternate universe, Victor is not a KAOS agent at all, so it's up to Max, more than ever, to win 99 back the old fashioned way.

2. The "rumor" 99 was supposedly upset about stems from what happened in a 3rd season snippet I wrote, entitled "The Little Black Book (Part lll)".

3. Max figures he can get 99 to "divvy up for half". It seems pretty evident that Maxwell Smart is something of a cheap skate- frugal to say the least- and he often tries to get 99 to pay her share, and then some.

4. BEATLES SONG: "Ticket to Ride" from the 1965 "Help" soundtrack was sung by John Lennon, but Max accuses George, then Paul.

5. BEATLES SONG: "You're Gonna Lose That Girl" from the 1965 "Help" soundtrack was sung by John Lennon, not Ringo (as Max seems to think)!

6. The drug Imobilo temporarily paralyzes a person, as seen in the 1st season episode "Our Man In Leotards" (my all time favorite episode!)

7. BEATLES SONG: "Yesterday" from the 1965 "Help" soundtrack (British LP version) was sung by Paul McCartney, not John or George! (Also of note, this is the most re-recorded song of the Beatles, having been recorded by other artists.)

8. BEATLES SONG: "Misery" from their debut 1963 album (in Britain) "Please, Please Me" and sung by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

9. BEATLES SONG: "I Need You" from the 1965 "Help" soundtrack was sung by George Harrison- not John or Paul.

10. BEATLES SONG: "Here, There & Everywhere" from the 1966 album "Revolver" was sung by Paul McCartney (a great romantic song- rumored to be Paul's favorite Beatles song of all time).

11. BEATLES SONG: "She Loves You" was a single released in 1963 (in Britain; 1964 in the U.S.) was sung by John and Paul- my all time favorite Beatles song!

12. Max says the line, "I should have known better," which is actually the title of a Beatles song from their 1964 "A Hard Day's Night" soundtrack, and sung by John Lennon.

13. BEATLES SONG: "Run For Your Life" from the 1965 "Rubber Soul" album was sung by John Lennon.

14. Max has his urge to kill rising- a "Simpsons" quote taken from the Halloween episode "The Shinning".

15. Max is huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf himself- a villain made famous in the story of The Three Little Pigs, in which a wolf stalks three, unsuspecting pigs, threatening to blow their houses in.

16. BEATLES SONG: "Do You Want To Know A Secret?" from their 1963 (in Britain) debut album "Please, Please Me" and was sung by George Harrison (not Ringo or Paul).

17. The line, "Anyway, so I says to Mabel, I says . . ." is taken from "The Simpsons"- a Bart quote.

18. The Mavis thing . . . Well, in my 2nd favorite TV show "Xena: Warrior Princess", from the 3rd season episode "The Furies", when Xena is deemed guilty of a crime, and the Furies render her insane. She calls her friend Gabrielle "Mavis". The line, "Shut up, Mavis, this is important," is something the insane Xena says to her.

19. BEATLES SONG: "I'm A Loser" from the 1964 "Beatles For Sale" album was sung by John Lennon (not Paul or Ringo).

20. BEATLES SONG: "For No One" from the 1966 album "Revolver" was sung by Paul McCartney.

SONG: "I'm So Tired" from the 1968 album entitled "The Beatles" (but affectionately known to fans as "The White Album") was sung by John Lennon.

22. BEATLES SONG: "Hey Jude" a 1968 single was sung by Paul McCartney- the longest single of the Beatles, also the biggest selling single.

23. BEATLES SONG: "I Will" from the 1968 album entitled "The Beatles" and was sung by Paul McCartney.

24. Gollywoggles are scary, but after some research, I've discovered that they are NOT indigenous to islands.

25. Max, Victor and 99 have their "roll call". That was a parody from a scene from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (1975- starring Tim Curry and Susan Sarandon), when they yell out at each other "Brad!" "Dr. Scott!" "Rocky!" "Janet!" etc.

26. Max's line about having "complete and utter dependence" on 99 is from "The Simpsons". It's actually Homer's line to Marge.

27. BEATLES SONG: "In My Life" from the 1965 album "Rubber Soul" was sung by John Lennon. This beautiful song is going to be played at my upcoming wedding in June, as the first dance for my new husband, Daniel and I!

28. As you can plainly see, I'm a big Beatles fan. 'Nuff said.


End file.
